Highly Sensitive Parents Raising Highly Sensitive Kids — Julie Bjelland (2023)

Guest Article by Carolina Mariposa

Highly Sensitive People are typically very conscientious, attentive parents, as we are naturally attuned to the needs of others. We often know our children on a very deep level, as we are intuitively aware of their multiple layers of communication (verbal and non-verbal), while feeling, seeing and knowing the multiple layers of their being as they blossom before us. We instinctively understand what it is like to experience the world as an infant or young child, because our nervous systems are so sensitive. We know what it is like, for example, to experience sensory overload in the grocery store or a busy classroom, and we are therefore better able to help our children learn to pay attention to their needs and cope with their own sensitivities.

With the nurturing and attunement a highly sensitive parent provides, a highly sensitive child is much more likely to have high self-esteem, and to feel empowered to face the challenges of being an HSP navigating through the world. Sometimes however, we as parents find ourselves having some of the same challenges our children are facing, and this can make it somewhat difficult for us to guide our children through certain situations. For example, if a parent has a pattern of being emotionally drained and reactive due to being very empathic, it may be hard to know how best to support and advise when her child suffers from over-empathizing with a friend. For another example, if a highly sensitive parent and highly sensitive child are going through a big transition, such as the arrival of a new sibling or a move to a new community, it may be challenging for the parent to be fully present with the child’s experience of the transition. When the parent’s nervous system is already overstimulated, the child’s attempts to co-regulate with the parent may falter, and then both nervous systems are off the rails; it can be hard for everyone to return to a place of calm and centeredness.

These types of situations can benefit from the extra support of a coach who is able to work with both the child and the parent so that they may process their experiences, learn strategies to cope and return to that treasured feeling of closeness and calm together. Few coaches are able to focus on this dyad of parent and child, or to add other family members to the coaching sessions as needed to resolve misunderstandings or conflicts that arise from our dysregulated states. At Butterfly Grove, I am able to provide this safe space and design package sessions to best suit each family’s needs. Some parents may want half of the package sessions to just focus on themselves, and then bring in the child(ren) later on once they are feeling more emotionally regulated and strong. Some families may want to bring the whole family to sessions so that everyone can learn skills at the same time and practice them together. Some kids may want their own coaching space for a while to better understand themselves and learn skills before their parents do, and then we may bring the parents in so that the youth may practice (and maybe even teach family members) what they’ve learned. Each highly sensitive child, teen and parent is unique, and Butterfly Grove strives to help you transform in a way that best works for each family.

All children need their parents’ love, acceptance and guidance. Highly sensitive children feel more deeply than others, and therefore need their parents to encourage and match that depth in order to truly thrive and feel empowered in their sensitivity. As an HSP, you are a parent who has this capacity within you! Your highly sensitive child is fortunate to have you cheering them on as they discover and embrace their gifts. There is no reward more sweet than feeling that profound connection with your child, where you both are truly seen and loved.

Carolina Mariposa, is an HSP mom and the founder of Butterfly Grove, where she provides intuitive guidance to empower highly sensitive children ages 0-21 and their parents. Intuitive guidance is coaching which combines energy healing techniques with practical strategies Carolina has acquired over the past 20 years as a child and family therapist and early childhood mental health specialist. The inclusion of energy healing techniques is often the missing link for highly sensitive kids and parents, as it provides unique insight into our personal patterns and the relational dynamics within the family, including the subtle ways that our sensitivities impact each family member. Having this insight, children, teens and their parents are empowered to validate each other’s experiences and grow even closer.

For more information please visit the Butterfly Grove website at https://www.butterflygrovehsp.com/about . There are links on the website to the Butterfly Grove YouTube Channel, Facebook page, Instagram and blog posts.